Andre van Zijl © 03/12/17
It is easy to coast through each day, managing a mild form of acceptably “normal” anguish. The gift of our inner wounds, which are invisible to the world, impacts all our relationships; with ourselves and with those closest to us. They come most poignantly to light when mirrored in our most intimate relationships. So when personal accounting becomes necessary, what do we do about facing and curbing an habitual inner unruliness which has hidden its real face till now?
Something always happens. The dissonance of our private internal landscapes are at some time or other exposed in the broad light of day for all to see. For example, suddenly and thoughtlessly I blurt out a rude judgment of another person in a public setting where it inflicts real hurt and embarrassment. It doesn’t matter what the “something” is, something always happens to expose the face of the personal shadow.
In the newness of a foreign landscape, a “vacation” from the habitual self works as a temporary shelter, when distracted from the (always running) background app of obsessive self-regard. Although, no matter how we spiritually retreat or seek solace from self dissonance, we always have to return to the everyday world of self and others and learn to integrate this into the larger Self which forms the fabric of our wholeness.
What steps can we take to integrate this vision of wholeness? We know what happens when driven by the spiritual myopia of the separate self. Yet, what happens when we experientially understand ourselves as a portal between the unmanifest source of all, and all that is manifest and manifesting through the portal of the personal self?
When we release identification with the personal self and gradually and increasingly relax into our larger Being, experiencing and fully inhabiting the unity between self and All-That-Is, there is an opening into a vast sense of ultimate inclusion and spaciousness. This larger Self is utterly relaxed, generous, caring, and gentle and the separated self that appeared to need managing is nowhere to be found. This “knowing” can only be integrated into the fabric of our most private being when repeatedly reiterated as a communicable reality. This occurs in the intensity of the spiritual cauldron of everyday life and is increasingly reflected in the refining quality of our relationships with ourselves and those around us.
In this never to be finished “masterpiece of transformation in motion” we finally realize the true relationship between the intensity of our evolving humanity married to the inevitability of ultimate immoveable serenity.